Crowley. The King of the Crossroads turned on again/off again King of Hell. He was cunning, he was smart, and he survived the Winchesters for eight solid seasons.
Love him or hate him, you have to admit his sharp wit and sarcasm made for memorable lines and excellent gifs. It’s hard to make a “Best of” list when every other sentence that comes out of his mouth is meme-worthy material, but after careful thought, through research, and a couple of Facebook polls, I managed to select 15 of Crowley’s finer sayings. So sit back, relax, and get ready to scroll down Memory Lane.
The Quotable Crowley
Season 5, Ep 10: “Abandon All Hope”
In which we finally meet the man himself.
Literally, the first thing Crowley says to Sam and Dean is full of sass. Which is not unlike the dialogue he used in his introduction scene. (Because Crowley.) King’s tone—set. My heart—highly intrigued.
Season 5, Ep 20: “The Devil You Know”
Arguably the episode when Crowley really became Crowley, “The Devil You Know” gave us wonderful dialogue and three perfect Crowley-isms.
No sympathy for the devil. (I may have had a smidgen of sympathy for this devil, even if he more or less set himself up for it.) Also, I get burning the house down, but why did they eat the tailor? (RIP, nameless suit dude.)
He is sly, but he rarely lies. Crowley claimed he didn’t have any virtues, but honesty is, in fact, a virtue. You have to admire a demon with a vague sense of values.
And thus Sam’s nickname was born.
Season 6, Episode 4: “Weekend at Bobby’s”
Widely considered one of the best Supernatural episodes ever, Jim Beaver and Mark Sheppard both knock it out of the park. It was hard to choose just one line from this one, but this is just perfect:
Take me with you, my King!
Season 6, Episode 20: “The Man Who Would Be King”
This Castiel-centric episode was kinda the birth of that grand SPN odd-couple, The King and Feathers. And yes, we would watch the hell out of a Crowley and Castiel road trip show.
Telling it like it is since 1661.
It also gave us this important quote:
Crowley’s smart. We all knew that. We got that pretty much from the go. But this line in particular shows just how smart Crowley is. Every big bad from every previous season underestimated the Winchesters, and Crowley watched them all fall. He knew what was up; if you’re going to fuck with the Winchesters, do it artfully.
Season 7, Episode 8: “Season Seven, Time for a Wedding!”
Crowley has morals. Which seems kind of wrong, but also somehow kind of right. (Just like my love for Crowley.)
That awkward moment when Hell has more honor than a select set of humans.
Season 8, Episode 21: “The Great Escapist”
Crowley is vicious in his ambition, and yet he still manages to make the panties drop.
One of my top two favorite Crowley lines of all time. So suave, so confident, so worthy of being on a t-shirt. Heart completely stolen.
Season 8, Episode 23: “Sacrifice”
Range. Crowley has it. He ran the emotional gamut in this episode, finally culminating in this harrowing scene.
This time, he made our hearts break and we wanted to leap into our TVs and hold him tight and soothe his troubled brow and tell him that, “Shhh. It’s all right. I love you.” Or was that just me?
Season 9, Episode 2: “Devil May Care”
The thing about Crowley is that even when you think you’ve got him, you probably don’t.
#Relatable. On an embarrassing amount of levels.
Season 9, Episode 11: “First Born”
This is another episode that’s on our “Best of SPN” lists, and Crowley is one of the reasons why.
Hands down, best Crowley line ever. It speaks for itself; he is Crowley, and he is gooooood. Well, he’s bad, but… you get what I’m saying.
Season 9 Episode 21: “King of the Damned”
It’s so cute how Abbadon thinks she got one over on the King.
Did someone say something about torture? Pissing Crowley off rarely boded well for the offender. Ever wonder what happened to those demons after Abbadon was vanquished? Yeah, I’m also too afraid to think about it.
It’s also notable that what happened in 8×23 is still affecting our King.
This perfectly sums up how we all feel about feelings.
Season 12, Episode 23: “All Along the Watchtower”
We will never be over this.
Over the years, the Winchesters became to Crowley the devils he knew. Irritating? Yes. Indispensable? Also yes. Of course, he would never actually express his developed respect in their abilities to kick some serious ass. Until he did, and it touched you, partially because the King of Hell does not dole out compliments lightly, nor with actual sincerity, but also because we knew what was coming. I’m not crying. You’re crying.
Fun fact: that’s Mark’s actual phone. He still shows it off at cons, bless him.